Per Aspera Ad Astra
by Rowan Jacobs
Summary: He so desperately wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that one day the pain was all gonna magically disappear.. but it wasn't. Oneshot.


_**Song: Sleeping At Last - Saturn**_

* * *

 _ **"**_ _ **You taught me the courage of stars before you left.**_

 _ **How life carries on endlessly, even after death."**_

The night sky was different. All the stars twinkled with mockery and seemed to be taunting it's spectators.

One of them, a pink hedgehog girl, was spread out in grass which blades felt as if they were cutting up her already vulnerable skin. Everything hurt. Even breathing was difficult causing her chest to rise and fall in an unbalanced manner, sometimes her breathing hitched and she lay breathless in almost half a minute. An unfathomable pain rested in a heart she no longer recongized as her own. The only sure sign that she was still alive was of tears streaming silently down her cheeks.

Beside the girl sat two boys or rather one of them sat while the other was more or less leaning heavily on a crutch which was the only thing keeping him upright. If it was removed he'd most probably fall on the ground and sink through until he'd reach the bottom of the other side.

A light breeze swooped over the hill the three friends sat on. Because at least that's what they thought they were... they were still friends, right? Even if the core of their friendship was gone and now they helplessly tried to keep it all together.

The younger of the two boys, a young fox, suddenly spoke but his voice was so hoarse and cracked that it was barely caught up by the other's ears.

"I wonder if he's looking down on us..."

His words made the older much more gruffer of the boys to snap out of what had been a stoic expression into a incedulous frown but before he could retort - something in his mind halted him. Who was he to dismiss such an innocent wonder, such a desperate inquiry for an answer no one could give an answer to. Instead he sighed and muttered;

"I don't know."

Cause truly, he realized, neither did he have an answer.

Although...

"Probably not." he continued "He's likely causing trouble somewhere up there, at this very moment. Just like he did down here."

Under any other circumstances this would have made either of them utter a small lighthearted chuckle but tonight was just not one of those times.

It was dead quiet.

 _ **"**_ _ **With shortness of breathe, you explained the infinite.**_

 _ **How rare and beautiful it is to even exist."**_

After awhile the young fox turned his head with slight difficulty towards the female hedgehog who had remained in the same position without as much moving a single muscle. He studied her a brief minute before adressing her.

"What do you think, Amy?"

There was no imdiate answer nor did it seem she'd even registered the question at all, she simply lay emotionless with her eyes glued to the sky as if she was waiting for something to happen.

Finally though she slowly closed her eyes and when she opened them again she whispered with such a broken voice that it pained the two boys' heart to hear it.

"I-I think he-.. he i-is, T-Tails."

The boy called Tails didn't smile or even nod appreciatively to her - he only turned his head back upwards with a barely audible hum.

"Do you think he-"

"What is this - a hearing?" the other boy harshly interrupted "And you can say his name you know, It's not cursed or anything!"

This sudden outburst caused Amy to flinch and her breathe to hitch as a loud sob escaped her lips. In respones to her reaction Tails instinctively reached a hand over to her in a lame attempt of comfort.

"Knuckles, please don't shout." he croaked feebly "Amy is very-"

"She's _what_? Sad? Angry? Scared because Sonic is no longer here to protect her?" Knuckles sneered back "Well guess what - she's gonna have to get used to it."

But due to his short tantrum the crutch he'd been leaning his upper body on suddenly snapped at the bottom and he fell face first onto the dirt. While cursing under his breath he sat back up, dusting himself off.

"A-Are you o-okay?" Amy timidly asked while still sniffling.

"Yeah yeah... luckily my other arm didn't break as well.."

As Knuckles gradually calmed down again he relucantly figured that he should probably apologize. It was the honourable thing to do anyway.

"Sorry Amy." he murmered "I shouldn't have said that.."

Despite her heartbroken state she still found herself smiling weakly at something as simple as a sincere apology. After all, Amy knew that the this heated and dismissive attitude was only Knuckles's way of masking what he truly felt.

"It's a-alright, I know S-Sonic is still watching over m-me - You two a-as well."

"Heh, I guess nothing could keep him from doing so." Tails whispered while lightly uttering something that could only be some form of a chuckle.

 _ **"**_ _ **I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again.**_

 _ **I tried to write it down but I could never find a pen."**_

Another gust of wind swept through them as suddenly the atmosphere seemed to lighten and Amy's breathing seemed to go smoother - easining the burden on her chest.

The three friends resumed their gazing in silence until Tails once again with a thoughtful yet sorrow filled expression said;

"I think I'll miss his laugh the most.. or how we'd ride the Tornado when I had fixed it after having crashed it or something.."

A small smile spread across his muzzle.

"But he never got mad about it, no matter how many times I messed up. Sonic would only laugh it off ' _Big brothers are supposed to have patience with their little brothers, right_?' he'd say. Though I guess I had patience with him too - he always did things his own way and sometimes it was hard to keep up.. But at the end of the day I knew he would never let me down, he was not only my brother but my best friend as well."

After Tails's voice died down Amy carefully reached over to grasp his hand, gently squeezing it with the little amount of strength she had left. The young fox accepted the gesture as he tried to fight back the tears threatening to break through.

Knuckles watched the two young teenagers with a certain sorrow tugging at his heart strings and then with a defeated tone he said with closed eyes;

"I- eh, I guess I will miss Sonic's admirable bravery and that despite at times being a reckless and cocky fool - he was still a respectable comrade. His ability to use the chaos emeralds for good also proved that he had a strong and pure heart deep inside him and for that I am grateful." he paused and hesitated for a second before continuing "I guess it would have been easy to just disregard him for all the stupid and show-off things he did but then there's you two.."

Tails and Amy watched him silently and with a mild hint of curiosity.

".. -With you guys Sonic never compromised. He once told me that if anything ever were to happen to him... - he made me promise that I would to try and keep you guys safe, no matter what. Though I told him that no one is safe forever, I still agreed upon it and now I intend to keep it."

"Oh Knuckles..." they both said in unison.

"Still-" Knuckles interrupted with a raised hand and slight frown "That don't mean I will leave my guarding duty as soon as you two decide to do something stupid. You need to know how to take care of yourselves."

"Heh, right." Tails said under his breath.

Amy however turned on the side while pulling her knees and arms closer to her body as she got a distant look on her face - tears had started to silently roll down her cheeks again. The poor girl absentmindedly fondled a small golden locket hanging on a thin chain around her neck. It was the last gift her beloved Sonic had given her - the only existing confirmation of his feelings towards her.

Now it was merely an empty promise of what would never be.

 _ **"**_ _ **I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time.**_

 _ **That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes."**_

The two boys exchanged pained glances. They ransacked their brains for something to say but found that truly no words could be said that would mend a girl's broken heart.

Tails felt a great sympathy for the girl who had loved his older brother with such undoubtable and unwavering certainty. He so desperatley wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that one day the pain was all gonna magically disappear.. but it wasn't.

"Hey, Amy.." he said in a comforting tone yet his own voice was close to cracking "Remember that time we went stargazing and we tried to teach Sonic about all the different star constellations but how he ultimately gave up and just made up his own instead?"

Amy nodded though it was a barely noticeable movement.

"And how he went on to talk about how brave the stars are.. that even if they know they are going to die - they still shine down upon us..." Tails stopped for a minute to wipe tears from his eyes and try to keep his voice steady "B-but he got it wrong, those stars we see are already d-dead long ago... ' _What difference does it make?'_ he said ' _even if something we love is dead, it's what they did when they were alive that counts - like the stars give us comfort just as a memory of someone we loved does - even after they're gone.' ._..I-I didn't understand what he meant then... b-but-"

The young fox had now completely succumbed to his own anguish and sobbed into his hands to hide a distressed yet ashamed expression from Knuckles and Amy.

 _He had promised Sonic to be strong for her.._

"B-but I guess... I-I guess I d-do n-now."

Without any words or glances necessary both Knuckles and Amy moved in closer to Tails as the three friends huddled together, leaning on eachothers shoulders while several strong winds blew through them.

"Then I guess-" Knuckles said lowly as he casted a glance towards the nightsky "-Sonic really must be looking down at us."

"I just wish I could've-.." Amy began but stopped as she felt the locket resting against her chest - a sad smile appeared on her face "But I guess, it didn't really need to be said..."

One of Tails's trembeling hands suddenly squeezed hers and through a cloud of tears he looked at her with a teary smile.

"I think it was spoken in ways beyond words."

And as the silence of the night once again took them in it's grip one last wind howled somewhere in the dawning distance.

Everything still hurt.

It would probably always hurt.

But the stars no longer twinkled with mockery - no, they shined with such love...

A love that went far beyond death.

 _ **"**_ _ **With shortness of breathe, I'll explain the infinite.**_

 _ **How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist."**_


End file.
